4 words: hood of his car
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
