Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
