I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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