using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
