Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
