OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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