we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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