Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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