i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I intend to get homeless drunk
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
