How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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