Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
