New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
