in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
