If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
