I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
