She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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