Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
