Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
