He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
