He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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