fuck your aforementioned shoe
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
