What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
