i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
