I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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