Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
