I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize