she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
