Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I could make wine with my vomit
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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