I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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