I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
