I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
