WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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