Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
