porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
