I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
COCAINE IS GR8
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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