please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
