chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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