Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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