So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
