You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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