is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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