At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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