he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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