Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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