I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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