I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
