As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
