i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
