capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Actions speak louder than pants.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
