I just saw a hot homeless man
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
