im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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