no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
