I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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