You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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