So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
