If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
