Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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