what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
