Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he thought i was a dude.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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