it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
