It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
