I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize